so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just high enough for therapy.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
