I hope mine doesn't look like that
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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