You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Drake has all the answers
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
