Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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