We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
