There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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