you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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