Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
