I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
