You really coming over, don't trick.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
meet me or not, i'm out of control
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
