It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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