her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
