Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
