I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
