There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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