It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize