did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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