I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch