that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever