I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
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I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.