i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just pee around me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.