Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her