I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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