I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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