Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I pour the whiskey from now on
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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