Already got asked if we're dating
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize