I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
