Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
