i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
