from now on my penis is your penis
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
