Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
