Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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