he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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