I can text with my tongue
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
