Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Someone signed my nipple.
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