Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
