I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
