You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
