even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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