Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
