You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
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i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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