I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His nipple licking is glorious
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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