Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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