My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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