eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
