ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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