I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
