Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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