She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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