Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize