Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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