Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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