did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude i'm inner monologue high
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
