He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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