The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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