I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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