Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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