how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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