I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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