dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
