I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
