too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
