That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How's work?
Spinning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
