hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
