I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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